CARRIE BRADSHAW – Who recognizes this name? Chances are most of you will; most women (and maybe some men) do. If you don’t, allow me to share – she is one of the main characters in the popular television show which used to appear on HBO called, Sex and the City. I have watched this entire series numerous times, along with the two movies which followed. I encourage women to watch because I feel it is relateable, and it may cause women to feel more “normal” about being a “woman.” After watching this show during different conjunctures in my life, I frequently was able to relate to something or a certain situation portrayed. There are four main characters in the show, and four different situations within each. The woman I most relate to is Carrie Bradshaw. In fact, her character has encouraged me, at many different points in my life, to become a writer (we write concerning entirely different subjects). Although the show has a lot to do with sex, there is some significant and profound advice we can each gain from these women – if we look deep enough. Recently while watching an episode, it hit me! I wanted to share with you the most significant lesson I learned from this show, honestly, only after years of research!
During a lot of my breakups, I have developed anxiety over really and truly caring about what other people think and feel. “What our his friends and family going to think about me?” “What about our mutual friends?” Time and time again, this has made me upset and controlled my thoughts. Then I watched an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie had broken up with her beloved Aiden. She runs into a girl that Aiden dated right her, and then this happens.
This sends Carrie down the rabbit hole, with her dwelling and obsessing over this face that a STRANGER showed to her. How common is this in our own life though? Caring what other people think of us, even people we do not know. This is a common problem which tends to take up a huge amount of space in our head. Later in the episode Carrie runs into her again, and asks to speak to her. She begins to tell Nina (the stranger) this, “I get the sense you have a sort of feeling about what happened with Aidan, and I just want to clear something up. Breakups are awful, and they are private. And, they are not necessarily symptomatic of what two people had together. I loved Aidan very much. I would never, ever have done anything to deliberately hurt him.” Nina looks at her and just replies, “OK”.
Then Carrie stops and realizes something. She wasn’t worried about the critic in Nina Katz, what she was worried about was the critic in herself. At this point she realizes something so profound that we all can learn a lesson from when dealing with this sort of situation. She states, “The truth is, at any given moment, someone, somewhere could be making a face about you. But, it’s the reviews you give yourself that matter.”
It does not matter what people think of you. What matters is what you think of YOU. A sex columnist in New York could figure this out, and we can run with it! Clear that space from your head and leave room for your opinions and what you think of you. That is what matters. Do not ever let anyone’s “face” made towards you effect your day.